Saturday, September 20, 2008

foul chaos

WARNING: This post is not for the weak stomach.
WARNING: This post is not for the weak stomach.
WARNING: This post is not for the weak stomach.

If you were with me today as I stepped into Norah and Hazel's room to get them from their afternoon naps, you would have doubled over with laughter.

Or let out a shriek of disbelief.

That's what I did. It was right after I realized the true reason our exceptional cribmate sleepers were up chattering during most of their 2 1/2 hour nap.

First, let me back up and clarify some things.

Every day our naptime routine is as follows:
  • Carry both girls downstairs between 12 and 12:30
  • Rock and hum together in their comfy leather recliner
  • Kiss and place our wiggly Norah in their crib first, cover her
  • Continue rocking and humming with our snuggly Hazel while Norah waits quietly for her sister while sucking her thumb
  • Kiss and lay Hazel in their crib, cover her, walk out, shut door

It's a 99% guarantee that the girls then--within minutes--drift off into dreamland for the next 2 1/2 hours. If I hear any stirring coming from their room shortly after I've tucked them in, I know someone has dirtied a diaper. I immediately return to their room, change the culprit, kiss again and say our goodnights.

And that's what happened today. There was chatter, there was one dirty diaper, a swift change, and a quick goodnight. And although I thought I was in the clear, I started to hear more chatter, and more giggles throughout their naps. I wondered... Is it time to give them their own cribs? Are they getting too big to share their sleeping space? Are they bothering eachother more than comforting eachother? Why today? Why are they not sleeping?

Now back to their room...As I walked in somewhere around rise-n-shine time, my eyes moved rapidly from Hazel's overloaded dirty diaper, to her back, then to her shoulders. They then moved over to Norah, the blanket she was kicking her legs in, and the dirtied space she was sitting on and smearing her hands in.

(Shriek) Wouldn't you have?

It was clear at that moment, why they were not sleeping.

And really, what followed from there was a pretty normal blowout clean up. I draped Norah over my left arm and Hazel over my right, then trekked up two flights of stairs to the children's bathroom--man it will be nice when our basement bathroom is finished--to have a little bathtime fun.

What wasn't part of this normal blowout was what I returned to find as I was gathering all the affected foul smelling fabrics. It was not only the said blanket and sheet that were attacked with chaos. It was the inside of their crib slats. The outsides. The wall. The mattress. The crib frame. AND the carpet on three sides of their crib.

Sweet mercy! What do your parents feed you?

Then, although it felt like hours later, their room was back to its normalcy. That's when I about doubled over with laughter. I was imagining what the situation might have looked like if indeed I would have accepted my friend Sarah's offer to come sit at my house during naps while I ran some errands.

What a surprise she would have been in for.


Lori said...

oh man, been there, done that but with a singlton in the crib! I can imagine that 2 was twice as nice! amazing them messes they can make...and really, the only thing to do is laugh! (after gagging a little!)

Kristen said...

Oh that is just too funny!

Beyond gross, and I am sure exhausting, but too funny!

Glad to hear that it wasn't the fact that they were ready to sleep by themselves. :)

l e a h said...

Ahhhh!! So hilarious! Maybe not so hilarious if I would have been you (or Sarah!).

Paint the town, girls...

Anonymous said...

Oh, the WALL and CARPET, too. I can only imagine they were smiling the whole time they played, though. Fun!

Stacey said...

Oh no Oh no! Seriously??! Oh dear. That makes me gag. I am feeling for you! I just love that N & H still sleep together!

Angela said...

That sounds like a nightmare! But one of those things that you laugh at many years later... or a few hours later! Thank you for not including pictures!! ;)

Ehlan said...

Oh no, good thing you aren't pregnant! That would have been a doozy had you been nauseous! I'm glad you find the humor in it!

4 Little Men and Twins said...

Oh my! What a fun clean up! I was going to ask you if your girls were still sleeping together... I hope we can make it that long. It's so cute to see them sleeping together.


Lori said...

The first thing to cross my mind was, "How lucky for you that you changed the first diaper!! If you wouldn't have, I can't imagine how much worse it could have been!" It's good to know you can laugh at the entire situation!

Ashley Griffin said...

i logged on to read your "not me! monday" post, but I was drawn to this one and i must say...i totally feel your pain. My 2yr old daughter has this, uh, thing about taking off her dirty diaper. She has done it several times and just like you described. On the floor, in the slats of the crib, on blanket (which she can't part with), stuffed animals. Gross. Every time i know it before i walk into her room too. i can smell it.
thank you Jesus, that now she is potty trained and those days seem to be behind us. i thought i was going to have to resort to duct tape pretty soon :)