I could think of 43 things that didn't happen to me in the last day and a half.
I'm sure of it.
But, to save you time to hop over to My Charming Kids and read all the other things that would never happen to a chick like me, I'll give you just 2.
On Saturday, Mr. Marvelous and I were short our oldest child and thought we'd load our 2 year old and 1 year olds in the car and run to the mall to Christmas shop. As we excitedly began searching for a spot to park, one of the twins did not let out a loud burp followed by her entire breakfast. Not even twice! Nope. Then--after a quick 3 minute trip home--as I was leaning across little Hazel to unbuckle and remove her entire carseat--with her still strapped into it--she did not repeat the process of burp-and-release-breakfast right across my arm. No way! That would be gross.
And last night, after all Mr. Marvelous' Tuesday Morning Bible Study friends and their families left our house, I did not walk into Julia's room to find these two:
jumping on her bed. Not me! We run a tight ship here! Our children know the Furniture rules and follow them wonderfully. Furthermore, they had not stripped down to bare nakedness leaving their panties and diaper on the floor near the door while flailing about in their birthday suits. Never. [huff] I wouldn't even know what that looks like.
Ya catch my drift? Not me!
And, hot off the press! After we arrived home from our morning business today, I unloaded Hazel first knowing she had blown through her diaper and up her back, therefore needing a change before I removed the 3 remaining children. After returning to the car for her siblings, Luke did not yell, "Mommy, No-wah no peel good!" as she was apparently trying to outdo her twin sister's vomit session right then and there. Nope. Which means we most certainly didn't just infest many, many children--between our party last night, and the grocer's Stay-n-Play this morning (I'm so sorry!!) with this nasty bug that isn't floating around our house. I do not blame it on the
McDonald's Playland Germ City that we visited last Thursday. I did not have to go through the entire car seat clean up ditty as I did just a few days before. I will not have to call my friend--who was planning on watching the twins while Mr. Marvelous, Luke, and I go to Julia's rescheduled and very first EVER Christmas Concert at preschool--to tell her that we won't be needing her since one of us will be staying home with our little Norah. And as a result, I did not set up the pack-n-play in our bedroom for Hazel, so that for the VERY FIRST TIME they would sleep apart from eachother allowing for uninterrupted naps for the both of them.